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The longer I live, the more I come to understand that marriage is a threat to the devil.
I can remember how as a new wife, it took some time to actually feel my way through the role. For the most part we were enjoying our wedded bliss, but I remember asking my husband one day why we were facing a particular situation (can't even remember the situation now) and he turned to me and said with great certainty, “don't you know that because we are a young married couple who chose to do things the right way, the enemy is mad?"
Talk about an eye opener. I have never forgotten that comment. He made it seem as though there was a purpose for our relationship other than just our love. Over the years my husband kept reminding me that God had a purpose for us as a married couple; but when you are raising kids, paying a mortgage and going to work, the purpose really seems fuzzy at best or even invisible. There were many times when it seemed as though there was no plan— just a series of random events that either made us happy on some occasions or upset on others. Looking back, I see how the different circumstances we faced as a couple and as a family shaped us. It is amazing to see how the very situations and life events that we faced also helped prepare us for the next season of life.
My question to the married couples that read this article is this: What is God's purpose in your marriage? I believe God puts people together for many reasons besides just their mutual love and attraction for one another. Many people whose marriages have suffered in a particular area find that God tends to use them in that same area to minister to others. If you have struggled in your relationship with your spouse and God has delivered you, find someone else who is going through similar struggles and minister to them.
There are so many areas in which families struggle: finances, blended families, unemployment, substance abuse, alcoholism etc. If God has allowed you to experience the peace of God in your relationship, reach out to another family and give to them what God has given to you.
God is calling us to be a united force; a dynamic duo of sorts against the devil and it is of utmost importance to guard your marriages against his wiles. Protect your marriage at all costs! God has given us some basic truths that matter, from His Word to combat the enemy. In Ephesians 5:21 – 33 we are given simple and yet profound advice, “Wives respect your husbands; husbands love your wives; submit to each other in reverence to Christ!” We can read those words and even agree with them until stressful times come our way. Paul did not say, “wives, when you agree with your husband’s decisions and life is good then show him respect.” It is a statement for all seasons of marriage and life – Be RESPECTFUL to your husband even when you are in disagreement.
Likewise, husbands are instructed to love their wives. How interesting. Don’t all husbands love their wives? God’s word to us in this passage addresses the deepest needs of men and of women. To keep a man’s heart safe – surround him with respect, honor and value. But to keep a woman’s heart safe from the enemy’s attacks she will need her husband to cover her with genuine love. Not flowers and candy (although gentlemen that would be just fine occasionally!) but rather live out agape love that listens to her when she talks; walks gently with her when she is hurting – not giving answers, but rather comforting and simply being with; and sacrifices laying on the couch watching TV or sports or being preoccupied with other pursuits (as Christ gave Himself up for the church) to serve your wife.
Not as easy as some of the books make it sound or as simple as a weekend conference. The phrase – “submit to each other” (Eph.5:21) is really saying, “Know how each of you are created, know what the needs of each others’ hearts really are and then meet that need with abiding respect and agape love!
Another way to protect ourselves is by giving God what belongs to Him financially. The Bible promises that if you will be obedient in this matter, God will meet your needs. He will show Himself to be Jehovah Jirah (Genesis 22:14). Learning to take a tithe of our income as the FIRST thing we do with each paycheck not only honors God it imprints upon our hearts and minds that God is first in every aspect of our home and family. Additionally, it is a weekly or monthly reminder and statement, “For me and my house – we are obeying the full word of God and we are trusting Him, not our own resources, to meet the needs of our lives.
Many marriages are destroyed because of an infestation of their assets. When we are faithful to God in tithes and offerings, He protects our resources. Sure our resources and assets include money, but that's not all. It also includes your family, your relationships or anything of value to you. Don't be discouraged if you do not have all of the tangible things that you want. Has God protected your children? Has he helped you to maintain your sanity if the midst of life's storms? Has He fed you when you couldn't even feed yourself? We may not always have everything we want but He will provide for our needs. These are some very basic things we can do to make sure our marriages are under God's protection.
The devil is trying to break down our communities and what is the best way to do this? It's by destroying the family. Anytime we begin to fuss and fight with your spouse and forget respect, love and mutual submission we are making our families vulnerable to the enemies attacks. He has just robbed you of precious moments you could be spending loving one another. He desires to destroy the relationship between husband and wife thus destroying the children and ultimately tearing up our communities. Don't let him win.
The careers that God has given us are a blessing but God has a vocation for you as well. We work to receive wages but when you do work for the kingdom the reward is always so much more than you could have dreamed.
All of us need to put our hands to the plow and be found working when Christ returns. See your marriage as a ministry given to you by God and as such, treat it with respect and reverence; hold your marriage in high regard, find ways to be a blessing to others, submit your marriage to Christ and watch him make something beautiful out of your union.
Rachel grew up in the Church of God in New York and is now an active lay leader in her congregation in Kississmee, Florida. Her husband is the Associate Pastor under Rev. Whitfield Blenmans.
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